How I lost a sawbuck

11 March 2009
Gaza, 1957 - Photo taken by James Whitmore courtesy

Gaza, 1957 - Photo taken by James Whitmore courtesy

We had just finished lunch and were just about to leave when a perky sorority girl came striding across the quad with a sign-up sheet, making a beeline for us.

“Um….do you have a minute?”

“Uh, okay sure, really quick.”

“How do you feel about the children of Gaza, of any religion?”

“Can you just explain what you’re raising money for?”

“Oh, um, okay we’re doing ‘dollars for dumps.’  We’re divided the parking lot into squares, and, uh you buy a square for five dollars, and, uh, if the animal poos in your square you win a hundred dollars, and uh, all the money goes to a hospital that treats both Palestinian and Israeli children”

“Hm.  Here’s ten dollars.”

“Oh, I can get you change.”

“Just take it.  I don’t want a square.”

10 Responses to “How I lost a sawbuck”

  1. Chelsea Says:

    Man, you would really suck at Chicken Shit Bingo.

  2. Neil Says:

    In fact, the identity of the animal remains a mystery. Fowl is certainly an option.

  3. Rachel Says:

    I kinda wonder what they’re planning to do to said animal in order to ensure timely discharge. Or if they’ve simply developed a back-up plan, so to speak.

  4. neil Says:

    Yeah, use of laxatives would seem to be a dangerous move — they might wind-up shelling out far more than they bargained for, unless there is a first-dumped-upon clause written into the contest rules. For the sake of the children, and my own vindication, we can all hope for constipation.

  5. Jeremy Says:

    funny they’d be using a territory based game

  6. Neil Says:

    Isn’t it? I was also reminded of the Propagandhi song that compares Gaza to a parking lot, but you know, that’ just me.

  7. Neil Says:

    also, now that I think of it, the whole “destined to be shat upon” element is a little eerie too.

  8. Rachel Says:

    Dollars for Dumps actually sounds like a pretty good metaphor for colonialism in general. Are you sure you don’t live in a Vonnegut novel?

  9. arvind Says:

    Not in a thousand years would I have been able to come up with an idea like this. There must be some density of inappropriate metaphors record somewhere that got shattered with this.

  10. Neil Says:

    Actually, I’m pretty sure I live in an unauthorized Vonnegut-inspired novel.

    Minus the pornographic elements of course.

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