minor musings on the macrocosm
LOL! j/k but, seriously what the eff was Raeticodactylus chomping with those whackjob quinticuspid teeth? Um, doy! Baby placodonts!
Sorry.
POSTSCRIPTO!
Turns out the feet may have been involved too, we await further details….
…with apologies to my former classmate Daniel Garson
So, I was going to spend the afternoon creating a logo for Bloggers Half-Assedly Opining about Peer Reviewed Research Even Though Nobody Asked Them in the First Place (or BH-AOPR2ETNATFP) but I decided to devote the time to making this kick-ass band logo instead!
Of course that’s not going to stop me from posting the latest entry in our occasional series where I hastily comment on a slightly stale arm-waving brevium and then we sit back and wait for Catalogue of Organisms’ own Christopher Taylor to come along and straighten us out.
This week we take on Droser and Gehling (200 
. Their brief report “Synchronous Aggregate Growth in an Abundant New Ediacaran Tubular Organism” appeared in Science a few weeks ago although, judging from the popular press accounts at least (which, of course are invariably cut-and-paste jobs from the University PR release) might have been better titled “Ropey Sea-Creatures were Sexing it up 570 million years ago…I swear!” From the press release:
Droser and Gehling observed that Funisia appears as 30 cm-long tubes in the fossils. They also observed that the tubes commonly occur in closely-packed groups of five to fifteen individuals, displaying a pattern of propagation that often accompanies animal sexual reproduction.
“In general, individuals of an organism grow close to each other, in part, to ensure reproductive success,” said Droser, the first author of the research paper and the chair of the Department of Earth Sciences. “In Funisia, we are very likely seeing sexual reproduction in Earth’s early ecosystem – possibly the very first instance of sexual reproduction in animals on our planet.
Um, okay, that’s a pretty freaking bold claim. Well, first off, as Larry Moran notes, bacteria do it, yeast do it, even educated peas do it, so sex itself is certainly a larger, longer, deeper and much slimier affair than might be given by an overly credulous reading of that quote. But even accepting for a moment Dr. Droser’s “animal” caveat lets review the evidence shall we?
Funisia fossils from Droser and Gehling 2008
First, the authors noted the occurrence of dense clusters of this tubular problematicon which they interpret as “spat falls”, e.g. multiple individuals which settled onto a substrate after planktonic larval dispersal around the same time. In modern organisms the formation of these aggregations are sometimes seen as a reproductive strategy. Animals which spend their adult life attached to the bottom improve their chances of finding a matching gamete for the sperm or egg they dump into the sea by being close to a member of the opposite sex.
Then they make a logical leap:
Among living organisms, spat production is almost ubiquitously the result of sexual reproduction but is known to occur rarely in association with asexual reproduction. (Droser and Gehling 200
That might be compelling circumstantial evidence, if we had any clue what Funisia was. However, like most other Ediacaran animals Funisia might as well be jam on toast for all we know about it’s ecology, life history or evolutionary relationships. Did that make any sense? Good. The author’s themselves note:
The phylogenetic affinity of F. dorothea is problematic. The morphology is consistent throughout all well-preserved specimens and serial units are a 3D character rather than features of external ornamentation. However, the lack of evidence for polypoid openings or pores in the body wall limits our understanding of its taxonomic affinities. Although it is difficult to place these fossils within Metazoa, the morphology and ecology are suggestive of stem-group cnidarians or poriferans.
Speaking of cnidarians…the first thing I thought of when I read the paper was Anthopleura elegantissima the so called “aggregating anemone.” While Anthopleura is capable of sexual and asexual reproduction it forms dense mats of asexually cloned individuals. Perhaps “spat” like clustering of similarly sized individuals isn’t necessarily linked to sexual reproduction.
At any rate, any insight into the Ediacaran ecosystem, however provisional, is certainly significant. Unfortunately, once again a University PR department eager for novelty and newsworthiness has muddied the water around a thought-provoking paper and fed more fuel to the “those crazy paleontologists what will they prove/disprove next?!” fire.
Crazy story in Science Daily today about a paper recently published in the Bulletin of the Society of Historical Integrative Tautology. The paper describes Protardosuchus incendiensis, an extinct fossil reptile whose remains were recently discovered in Holocene beach sands outside San Francisco.
The authors suggest that the strange hollow, procumbent dentition were able to expel a pair of reactive fluids which, when mixed together in the presence of atmospheric oxygen would combust. Abundant charcoal in the beach sediments which yielded the sub-fossil are seen as strong circumstantial evidence for this novel adaptation.
Some carabid beetles have developed a similar, though scaled down chemical defense mechanism while among reptiles, a number of species of cobra can spray venom from their fangs. Protardosuchus’ pyrotechnic display was apparently far more impressive. As the Science Daily piece notes, the author’s aren’t certain if this behavior was defensive or related to prey-capture:
“Seriously, dude we have no effing clue,” says Melchior Neumayr, lead researcher on the new study. “It was probably all like ‘fffshhhh’ and then all like ‘BOUSCH!’ And then, then you’re like totally toast brohan. No thanks man, thanks, but no thanks.”
Most interestingly, this discovery marks the first post-Cretaceous occurrence of a hellasaurid hellasauroid hellasauriform in North America (while most authorities consider “Ogopogo” to be a “hellasaur” sensu lato, it’s almost certainly not a true hellasauroid). It’s tempting to imagine that the mythical “dragons” of Eurasian folklore were inspired by extinct old-world protardosuchians whose remains have yet to be discovered. In fact this pan-Pacific distribution would almost certainly confirm McCarthy’s (2003) argument that the Pacific basin didn’t open until the Mesozoic. Dude, seriously.
“Expirational autocombustion in a recently extinct Hellasaur from coastal California” Bull. Soc. Hist. Int. Taut. 56 (9 or 10)
Remember that old adage about flies and honey? Well, I suppose that explains Dr. Vector’s recent bizarre display of uncharacteristic magnanimity toward microecos. And I didn’t even have to bribe him with free tickets to “Robot Dinosaurs Gone Wild!”
Still, I have to say it’s rather unsettling when Matt effing Wedel compliments you. It’s like when someone comes up to you out of the blue and says “hey, nice shirt.” You just stand there staring back blankly, waiting for the “too bad you have such an ugly face” follow-up.
But seriously, I’m flattered. And the even better news is that I’ve worked out a 3.3 million dollar syndication contract with Univision. So put down your signs, get back to work, strike’s over baby!
Of course, I’m not at liberty to discuss the details of the deal but suffice to say there will be a lot more chicks in bikinis and fat guys dressed up like giant babies around here from now on… $ 3.3 million! That’s like easily 1000 euros right? Snap!
Sorry, I mean “¡GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!”
Moral of the story: “Honey works well for catching flies. But you just can’t beat a ginormous steaming, fetid pile of B.S.” QEFD
Stay tuned for a 2 year anniversarial spectacular in a couple of weeks. Meanwhile I might throw together an insightful, deeply-probibing post or two. So, uh, hold your breath.
…and dip for that matter [groan].
Ironically, I’m holding out for fair compensation when microecos material appears on television. Go figure right?
Otherwise I’d be griping up and down about how “no compelling evidence for echolocation” turned into “NEW BAT FOSSIL PROVES FLIGHT EVOLVED BEFORE ECHOLOCATION” (check out where Icaronycteris and Rousettus fall on their non-logged plots) and “it’s not impossible that Beelzebufo might have munched on hatchling dinosaurs” turned into “GIANT FROG ATE BABY DINOSAURS” (it’s also not physically impossible that dubya likes to wash down his stem-cell shooters with civet urine) etc. etc.
In short, you ain’t missing much.
Pax!
The recent description of a new species of sengi, Rynchocyon udzungwensis, inspired me to finally complete a project I’ve been talking about for years. Behold: the official Afrotheria logo–soon to be seen on a bumper-sticker or t-shirt near you!
(Note: while the new sengi is freaking huge, tipping the scales at 700g, the animals in the logo are, um, not to scale).
“Gondwanaism and Afrothereists” is the name of a chapter in my book Paleontology After Modernism which will almost certainly never be written.
I ultimately decided not to include the extinct Afrothere lineages Desmostylians and Embrithopods, despite the fact that they are some of my favorite mammals, because I was afraid it would look too crowded, plus my lab-mates were starting to ask questions.
Anyone who can name all seven taxa pictured will win a free t-shirt, once I get around to printing them…
Props to Seth Newsome for the inspiration.
Now I guess I had better get to designing logos for Xenarthra, Laurasiatheria and Euarchontoglires.
Today I was introduced as an ‘up and coming science blogger’ (paraphrasing there). It was like one of those moments where you pass in front of a mirror, catch a peripheral glimpse and think “wait, is that what I really look like?”
So,
Armadillodile wars…Sophophora?…hopeless monsters…anthroposenescence…
Um, I think I’ll sit this year/epoch out, thanks.
Expect more decontextualized photo-collages…ganked media…wild, instantly retracted neologistics…19th century historiographies…maybe some bug sex. In short, we’re gonna party like it’s 2006.
When I wake up that is. If I wake up before the larvae pupate that is.
Until then: check out the best thing ever (thanks to zooillogix and retrospectacle from that one science blog portal…i forget the name).
|
