Woah.

Crazy story in Science Daily today about a paper recently published in the Bulletin of the Society of Historical Integrative Tautology. The paper describes Protardosuchus incendiensis, an extinct fossil reptile whose remains were recently discovered in Holocene beach sands outside San Francisco.

The authors suggest that the strange hollow, procumbent dentition were able to expel a pair of reactive fluids which, when mixed together in the presence of atmospheric oxygen would combust. Abundant charcoal in the beach sediments which yielded the sub-fossil are seen as strong circumstantial evidence for this novel adaptation.

Some carabid beetles have developed a similar, though scaled down chemical defense mechanism while among reptiles, a number of species of cobra can spray venom from their fangs. Protardosuchus’ pyrotechnic display was apparently far more impressive. As the Science Daily piece notes, the author’s aren’t certain if this behavior was defensive or related to prey-capture:

“Seriously, dude we have no effing clue,” says Melchior Neumayr, lead researcher on the new study. “It was probably all like ‘fffshhhh’ and then all like ‘BOUSCH!’ And then, then you’re like totally toast brohan. No thanks man, thanks, but no thanks.”

Most interestingly, this discovery marks the first post-Cretaceous occurrence of a hellasaurid hellasauroid hellasauriform in North America (while most authorities consider “Ogopogo” to be a “hellasaur” sensu lato, it’s almost certainly not a true hellasauroid). It’s tempting to imagine that the mythical “dragons” of Eurasian folklore were inspired by extinct old-world protardosuchians whose remains have yet to be discovered. In fact this pan-Pacific distribution would almost certainly confirm McCarthy’s (2003) argument that the Pacific basin didn’t open until the Mesozoic. Dude, seriously.

An artist’s reconstruction of Protardosuchus.

Refs:

Dennis McCarthy (2003) “The trans-Pacific zipper effect: disjunct sister taxa and matching geological outlines that link the Pacific margins” Journal of Biogeography 30 (10)

Neumayr, M et al. (200 “Expirational autocombustion in a recently extinct Hellasaur from coastal California” Bull. Soc. Hist. Int. Taut. 56 (9 or 10)

Afrotheres of the World Unite!

The recent description of a new species of sengi, Rynchocyon udzungwensis, inspired me to finally complete a project I’ve been talking about for years. Behold: the official Afrotheria logo–soon to be seen on a bumper-sticker or t-shirt near you!

(Note: while the new sengi is freaking huge, tipping the scales at 700g, the animals in the logo are, um, not to scale).

“Gondwanaism and Afrothereists” is the name of a chapter in my book Paleontology After Modernism which will almost certainly never be written.

I ultimately decided not to include the extinct Afrothere lineages Desmostylians and Embrithopods, despite the fact that they are some of my favorite mammals, because I was afraid it would look too crowded, plus my lab-mates were starting to ask questions.

Anyone who can name all seven taxa pictured will win a free t-shirt, once I get around to printing them…

Props to Seth Newsome for the inspiration.

Now I guess I had better get to designing logos for Xenarthra, Laurasiatheria and Euarchontoglires.

Come Again?

Yes, apparently.

Wave Bye-Bye to the Polymath…

Well, calling Charles Willson Peale a polymath may be rather generous. Then again, if I had run a failed saddle shop, painted some bossy white dudes, and created the first American Natural History Museum, I think I’d probably feel pretty worthy of the title. Anyway, when was the last time you went to a glass harmonica concert or whatever? [well, knowing microecos readers, it was probably last weekend]

At any rate, before we tossed his geriatric remains from the bell jar, I figured it was worth giving the bloke a proper post. Exhumation of the Mastadon [sic] (1806) (pictured above) remains probably the best American painting to date, though some of Richard Estes’ stuff comes close. That is, of course, ol’ Pealey himself in the jacket and slacks. Much, much more Peale info here.

microecos is a rotting peaty wreck.

Who Is Buried in Lincoln’s Tomb?

On February 12th, 1809, two visionaries emerged on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Both were cautious, erudite, soft-spoken men who were destined to transform the world in their own way.

In a letter to Asa Gray Darwin, a self-proclaimed supporter of the Union endorsed Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation:

Well, your President has issued his fiat against Slavery—God grant it may have some effect.

I don’t know if Lincoln ever picked up the Origin.

I suppose he was rather busy in the sixties. He is reported to have read (and enjoyed) Robert Chambers’ Vestiges. While this proto-evolutionary text was widely derided by the scientific community (including Darwin himself), it did mark a sincere effort to develop a rational history of life that accorded with the fossil record.

Growing up in Kentucky, it’s almost impossible that a young Abe didn’t encounter some of the abundant Paleozoic fossils that litter the state. And, in keeping with my previous rant about our fossilferous infrastructure, the stone which surrounds Lincoln’s tomb is packed with coral and brachiopod fossils.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that Lincoln’s most famous address, delivered amongst fields tilled with fallen soldiers, begins with a declaration of historical context. History helps us to make sense of chaos and savagery of modern life. This is also where Karl Marx and L. R. Hubbard fit in.

But aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln how was the play?

Decimating Birds: Episode V - Toward a new microethos

[Decimating Birds is a fitful series about beautiful birds. We're working on 10. Actually this entry pushes the total to 11, but who's counting? Previous installments are here: i, here: ii, here: iii, here: iv, and here: vi]

5) Fiveway tie:

Small-headed Flycatcher (Muscicapa minuta),

Blue Mountain Warbler (Sylvia montana),

Carbonated Swamp Warbler (Sylvia carbonata),

Cuvier’s Kinglet (Regulus cuvierii),

Townsend’s Bunting (Emberiza townsendi) all nomina dubia

 

Small-headed Flycatcher.

All paintings originally from Audubon’s Birds of North America 1827-1838.

Many of the prints shown are available for purchase at Minnesland.

Blue Mountain Warbler.

Carbonated Swamp Warbler.

Cuvier’s Kinglet.

Townsend’s Bunting.

I have, in fact, a draft screenplay worked up. Ewan McGregor should probably play Alexander Wilson. Audubon is an open call, but I’d be willing to audition Brian Ellis.

Dear Hollywood: trust me, this has A LOT more staying power than Costner’s Kentucky Cycle. But how can you be more beautiful than something that doesn’t exist?

Awful Changes

A quiet sigh of relief courtesy of Henry de la Beche:

Awful Changes.

Man found only in a fossil state — Reappearance of Ichthyosauri.

“A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.” Byron

A Lecture. — “You will at once perceive,” continued Professor Ichthyosaurus, “that the skull before us belonged to some of the Lower order of animals the teeth are very insignificant the power of the jaw trifling, and altogether it seems wonderful how the creature could have procured food.”

He goes on, “looking at the finite element model, the weakness across the occipital clearly demonstrates that the species went extinct when their heads exploded while attempting to navigate online forms…”

Here’s the carnage:

How many guilds do you count?